Brendan Isn't Alone Anymore
by Fourteen Hundred Hours
Summary: "In the next life, Steven". Set in the next life, basically! Brendan and Ste get a happy(ish, I think) ending.


**I figured there were at least two ways to interpret "In the next life", and seeing as one of them is basically AU Ste and Brendan (which has been done) I decided that "the next life" should be the afterlife of sorts. I'm not entirely religious, but I've given it my best shot.**

**Hope you enjoy **

Brendan wonders why he's not in Hell. He feels he should be, after all he's done and all he should have done. But he's not. He's not sure where he is, but for some reason he knows it's not Hell. He looks around but there is no one in sight- he doesn't even appear to be anywhere. So he walks.

Brendan ends up back in the village. He's not sure how he got there exactly, he was just walking and now here he is. That's all he ever really does. He walks and walks and walks, not sure where he's going, but always ending up someplace he knows, someplace familiar. Today it's the village. How long he's been walking he doesn't know, he doesn't really care. All he can think about is Steven.

He sees other people while he's walking. Once or twice there have even been faces he's recognised- he's sure he saw Malachy one time when he'd walked to Belfast. But he never says anything, and so far nobody's said anything to him. He doesn't even notice what the other people are doing, whether they're talking, laughing, crying, or just walking like him. All he can think about is Steven.

Despite being in familiar surroundings, the colours are dimmer then he remembers, somehow faded. He wonders why, briefly, but doesn't think too much about it. He just accepts that this new, washed out world is his now.

Brendan wonders why they don't hate him. Why he doesn't hate them. When he saw his father he expected shouting and violence from both of them. But they just talked. Brendan loses track of how long they talk for, of what they talk about, and how they even got here in the first place. When they eventually part ways they do so as father and son, not enemies.

Nana Flo forgives him too. He finds her when he's walked to the holiday home- it's just as he remembers it from when he was young. It doesn't bring back the painful memories any more, just ones of comfort and better days. He's welcomed with open arms by his grandmother, who hugs him, and laughs, and cries, before hugging him again. For the first time since leaving Steven Brendan feels slightly happy. It's not much, but it's there, and he hopes Steven has managed to find some small comfort too.

He sees Lynsey a lot. She helps him adjust to his new existence, makes it seem less dull, less of a curse, more of a new start. Lynsey always helped him to see the best in people and situations, and he's glad she's here now to do the same. Despite having her there for him he still misses his children, and Cheryl, and Steven.

A few times Brendan sees Walker with his brother. Like with Seamus there's no fighting, no grudges held. Any anger they had against each other is simply gone, like it never even existed in the first place. They talk, and walk, and Brendan discovers that he doesn't even hate himself anymore. His only regret is leaving Steven behind.

Brendan watches Steven sometimes. At first he cries with him, then as time progresses smiles with him and laughs with him. It takes Steven a while to let anyone get close to him again, but over time he starts to let people in. When Steven proudly walks Leah down the aisle on her wedding day Brendan shares in his pride, scarcely believing the feisty young woman before him was the same child who'd made him sing and play with her.

Despite managing to move on from losing Brendan there is never anyone else for Steven. He has boyfriends, and one-night stands, but no one ever comes close to what he once had. Brendan's not sure how he knows, he just does. At least Steven's happy, and Brendan feels that maybe he can start to rest in peace after all. Bit by bit his surroundings regain their colour, but Brendan hardly notices.

It's not just Steven that Brendan watches over. Cheryl finally got the happy ending she'd been deserving of for so long, leaving the village with Nate. It's decades before she joins Brendan, leaving behind her children and grandchildren and first grandchild. Her eldest son is called Brendan, and Cheryl often marvels at the similarities between them. At bedtime she tells her children stories of their brave Uncle Brendan, the bravest and funniest man who ever lived… apart from their own father, of course.

Declan and Padraig both grow up to be fine young men. Padraig keeps up his drumming, and leaves university to form a band. Despite Eileen's original misgivings Brendan's pleased his son doesn't give up on his dreams, as it eventually pays off. Later on at every one of his band's gigs they cover a Johnny Cash song, and Padraig always, if not always out loud, dedicates it to his da. Declan sticks with university, and eventually moves to Hollyoaks and takes over the club, making it more successful than it had ever been while Brendan was there. He learns from Brendan's mistakes, and makes a few of his own, but he makes his dad proud. They both do.

Ste joins Brendan at some point. One minute he's living his life, the next he's gone, ending up in the same place as Brendan. Ste sees Brendan first, running across and hugging him tightly, half laughing, half crying. Brendan just hugs Ste back, marvelling at how he looks just like he did the last time they were together. He shouldn't be surprised- he still sees his Nana as an old lady, but others see her as a young woman.

Brendan eventually breaks away from Steven's grip, holding him at arm's length. It's not like he hasn't seen him during his time here, but now he's actually here with him Brendan wants to take everything in, savour the moment.

"I missed you." Steven eventually says.

"Me too." Even after all this time of waiting, of wondering what he'd do when he finally sees Steven again, Brendan doesn't know what to say.

"I never stopped thinking about you." Steven continues, and Brendan knows he's telling the truth.

"I'm sorry." Brendan finally remembers what he wanted to say. "I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for leaving you and-" he gets no further as Steven kisses him, moving in swiftly, making up for all the time they've spent apart. Neither of them knows how long they stay like that, but Steven eventually pulls back, eyes shining.

"It's fine. It's all fine. I don't care about any of that. I'm here now, with you." He says, and then they kiss again. "Is this it then? Heaven?" Steven asks after a while, and Brendan thinks. It never occurred to him that he was in Heaven. All this time he wasn't sure, he just knew it couldn't be Hell. But now Steven was here, and would always be here, with him.

"Yes. This is Heaven." Brendan realises, saying it out loud. He notices then that the once faded backdrop to his time in Heaven is now in full colour. It's so vivid it's like he's back on Earth, like all his time here has been a cloudy dream, and now that Steven's here he's woken up. He feels more alive now than he can ever remember being, he has more energy, his existence has more meaning. And in the centre of it all is Steven, smiling at him, like he's never been gone.

Brendan remembers that night on the balcony, the night that he left. _In the next life, Steven_. That day had finally come. All his life, and all the waiting after, had led to this moment.

"So." Steven's voice breaks through his thoughts. "What do we do now?" Brendan doesn't even need to think of what to say to that.

"Anything we want, Steven. Everything." He holds out his hand, and Ste takes it happily. They start walking.

**That's it for now **** I hope it was of the alright persuasion. Please leave a review if you have the time.**


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